so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
