do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize