I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You ruined the universe
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
