I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
