It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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