I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
