Me too!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
