I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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