): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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