i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
