I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
