My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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