So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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