I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize
