Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
