you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
