This is not my ceiling
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
