dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize