It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
