No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize