Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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