yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize