im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
