We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I touched a dick in church today
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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