My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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