oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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