Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
