soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
