the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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