is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
