So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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