So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
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That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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