pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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