You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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