Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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