he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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