okay pat passed out under dana's car
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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