Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
