I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
