guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
