Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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