so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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