Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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