i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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