He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
