thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
