Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
