Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
