I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
