she was so not down for the gang bang
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
