Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
pray to the hookup gods
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