Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
