By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
