Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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