i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
