apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
