We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
