So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
