I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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