We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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