Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
