she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
