U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
