id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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